Monday, October 29, 2018

Photos from #WalkAway


"You want to give me food stamps just because I was in foster care? I think you just want my vote." - Terrence K. Williams


Winner of the best sign goes to...


Happy people in the rain.


Musician singing "Where We Go One, We Go All." He also sang the Oath Keeper's song, "Arm Yourself."


"The blue wave is 500 miles south of the border"

Guy in crowd: "good job umbrella man!"


Will from PragerU

"Are there any Russian bots here?"
Person in back raises hand
"There's one! We're 1/1024th Russian, so we're a Russian bot movement!"


Flags out, phones out.


Bikers for Trump provided security


On way to Freedom Plaza, there was a man selling t-shirts. He used this call: "Spicy memes! Get yer HOT spicy memes here!" Yea, I had to have one.


Passing Trump International Hotel


Arrival at Freedom Plaza - E Pluribus Awesome!


Inside Freedom Plaza now. It's a party. Make America Fah'BULOUS Again!


Dog shares a stroller with Trumpy Bear!


Flower child brings out the sun!


More signs


This gay man legally came to America from Venezuela when he was 18. We talked about that country's downward spiral, and I asked him if he still had family there. He said that his parents are buried there, but looters stole their bronze headstones.


Pastor Mark Burns lays down the law!


"I had a bedroom and office in the White House. I got to know the Clintons intimately. Not like that with Hillary. Not with Bill, either" - Buzz Patterson

I think Buzz Patterson was channeling my #WalkAway essay!


Mason Weaver


Michael Flynn, Jr


These bots are made for walkin'! "You're not bots, you're too sexy!"




Don't know who he is, but he's a fantastic speaker!


Stacey Dash


People enjoying the music


Diamond and Silk on video!


Joy Villa! She brightens whatever venue she's in!


Brandon, getting ready to go on stage.

Doreen: "You went because you have a crush on him, don’t you?"
Me: "Na, me and Mattis are still tight"


And here he is, the founder and organizer of #WalkAway! Brandon Straka gave two speeches during the rally. The first one was an expansion of his original video.

"I've done the closet, and I'm not going back"

"To compare is to despair"


Person watching Herman Cain's video


Zach Hing


Mahgdalen Rose, a Stoneman Douglas High School graduate who could see through David Hogg(wash)'s BS right away.


Deplorable men are the hottest!


"My father was a Navy captain, and my grandfather was a Navy captain. Don't know what happened with me."

"When they go low, we go to the polls." - Scott Presler




Brandon's second speech, in which he warned cuckservatives that we'll be watching them.


You can never have too much Joy...

... and you can never have enough Bikers for Trump, either!

Friday, October 26, 2018

#WalkAway

Introduction
Brandon Straka started the #WalkAway movement in response to the Democratic Party’s abandonment of Enlightenment ideals and the values exposited by classical liberalism. He began the campaign with an extremely compelling video and encouraged others to make and share their own videos.

Having never been a Democrat, walking away is not possible for me. The best I can do is explain how my distrust and scorn of liberalism has changed to absolute contempt.

Here we go…

Walk Away, From What?
All of the values of John Locke, Voltaire, Adam Smith, Jefferson, Madison, and the other minds that gave us the Age of Enlightenment and the American Revolution have been either betrayed or forsaken by the modern left and the Democratic Party. For them:

  • Science has been replaced by dogma
  • Rationality has been replaced by intimidation
  • Speech is no longer free
  • There is no longer a presumption of innocence, and guilt is not something that needs to be proven; mob justice is the norm
  • Rugged independence has been replaced by conformity to the herd
  • Individuality has been replaced by racism
  • Forget equality – all people are equal, but some are more equal than others
  • Self-determination has been coopted by dependence on government
  • Government is to be omnipotent
  • Finally, freedom of thought is no longer seen as an absolute – you are free to think anything you want, as long as it fits the narrative du jour.

The contemporary Democratic Party is simply not your father’s party.

I distrust and scoff at liberalism and the Democratic Party for all of this, but two events completely soured my opinion of liberalism: the Pulse Nightclub terrorist attack, and the protests over Trump's travel ban.

I didn't learn of the Pulse Nightclub attack until the next afternoon. I was meeting with the state commander of the militia I'm in (yea, more as we go along), and he informed me of it.

CDR: "You better watch out, Klepper, they're coming for you!"
Me: "I didn't spend all this time and money on training for nothing."
CDR: "They're fucking with the wrong homosexual!"

The following Monday, I approached the LGBT employee group at Comcast (I worked there at the time) and offered to teach them firearm safety and usage. The result was... crickets.

While the LGBT group as a whole ignored my offer, some members approached me in private for a trip to the gun range. They did so furtively: they were afraid, but not of an attacker. They knew that at a liberal big tech company, coming out as conservative entails higher risks than coming out as gay.

Pink Pistols, a LGBT gun rights organization, had a large uptick in membership after the attack, as is well known.

What is not well known are the number of gun enthusiasts that made the same offer to their friends as I made to Comcast. One hundred percent of the people I know who have the skills and the means offered to teach LGBTs how to defend themselves. One NRA-certified instructor "came out" to me. Another one, the NRA instructor who first taught me handgun usage and safety, told me that his son is gay, and it was clear that he was genuinely proud of him.

Absolutely none of this made it into the mainstream media. The left and the MSM stereotypes gun owners in one way, and they stereotype LGBTs in another way, and these stereotypes are designed to put us in conflict. Anything that shatters that narrative is verboten.

The Democrats' response was to blame the terrorist attack on gun owners in general and the NRA in particular; the attacker’s religious motivation was ignored. Two months after the event, Hillary Clinton invited the Pulse terrorist's father to stand behind her during a campaign speech.

The second event that fueled my contempt of the left was the manufactured outrage over Trump's travel ban. The airport protesters were told to hate the travel ban - they didn't reach their own conclusions. Indeed, the protesters didn't even take the time to read the executive order. After all, Orange Man Bad.

Had the protesters read the order, they would have found that one of the reasons for implementing the ban was to protect women, minorities, and LGBT people from those who condone and are willing to repeat the Pulse Nightclub massacre. This was explicitly stated in the order:

“The United States should not admit those who engage in acts of bigotry or hatred (including "honor" killings, other forms of violence against women, or the persecution of those who practice religions different from their own) or those who would oppress Americans of any race, gender, or sexual orientation.”

Here then are the consequences of liberalism for Americans in general and LGBTs in particular: you have no right to protect yourself or that which you value. Further, Democrats will happily import people that will murder you and other gays. All cultures are equal and must be respected, right?

To advocate this is criminal. To practice it is suicidal.

We have gay pride parades every year, and proud people will not permit themselves to be sacrificed upon any altar, including the altar of diversity. Gays have the same rights as everybody else, and self-protection is the fundamental right. Rights mean little if you cannot defend them, and dead men have no rights.

For these reasons my disdain of liberals escalated to contempt and disgust. The Democrats are worthy of nothing else.

Walk away? No, run if you have to. Run. Like. Hell. Better yet, fight like hell.

Walk Away, Towards What?
What are the alternatives to the Democrats and their collectivism?

The Libertarian Party is irrelevant when it comes to issues besides drug legalization. They have no fundamental principles beyond the fact that they like pot with their milquetoast.

Republican politicians have been rightly called "cuckservatives" and “RINOs” (Republicans in name only), and the GOP has been rightly called the "right wing of the Democratic Party." This is because they were willing to use the exact same tactics as the left. They were indeed almost identical when it comes to "issues" like property rights, privacy rights, etc.

We see this every November. People decry election returns that are incredibly close to 50-50 as proof that America is Balkanized to the point of fragmentation. While the latter is true, the convergence of the Democrats and the RINOs explains the close election returns equally well. In 2012, for example, we had the choice of Obamacare and Romneycare. You might as well flip a coin when you go into a voting booth, for the outcome would be the same: 50-50.

But the contemporary Republican Party is not your father's party, and this goes far beyond Peter Thiel speaking at the 2016 Republican National Convention. It is being transformed, starting with the Tea Party and continuing with Trump’s MAGA platform.

The Republican Party is on its way of becoming an America First party, and we America Firsters love the Constitution! This is the difference between the Demopublicans and America Firsters: for them, the Constitution is an anachronistic document that is selectively applied – it is used only when it suits their agenda and it is ignored when inconvenient; for us, the Constitution is written protection for the smallest minority: the individual. For Demopublicans, rights are government gifts, subject to change. For America Firsters, rights are inherent in us as individuals. The Constitution doesn't grant rights, it recognizes rights and it establishes mechanisms to protect those rights. The Constitution embodies the Enlightenment ideals that the left rejects, and for that reason the Democrats reject the Constitution.

So, when some cuckservative denigrates gays for wanting “special rights,” all you have to do is ask him to show you where their beloved “culture war” issues are found in the Constitution. He will not be able to point to anything, because they are not there.

Should you contemplate leaving the Democratic Party, they would say "but, but, but... Trump is a racist, homophobic, sexist, racist, Islamophobic, raaaacist. He'll put you gays into concentration camps!"

Concentration camps, like the WW2 Japanese internment camps set up by Franklin D. Roosevelt, the darling of the Democratic Party?

The Democrats' alarmism is intended to evoke fear, uncertainty, and doubt, with the goal of instilling guilt and the sense of victimhood necessary to keep people subservient. But it backfires, for if there were a real likelihood that Trump would go full FDR, then that's certainly reason to learn basic firearm usage and to join a neighborhood protection team or other militia. In other words, it is a reason to do the things that the Democrats decry and oppose.

A rifle goes better with your wardrobe than a pink triangle on any day.

While the Republican party is on its way to becoming an America First party, it has miles to go. Some RINOs are still there, and they are willing to resort to their culture war shenanigans – that’s how Milo Yiannopoulos got disinvited from CPAC.

Is the Republican Party the right party? That's the wrong question to ask. A better one is this: do conservative people hold the right principles, and do they live in accordance with those principles?

Individual conservatives want to be treated just like anybody else. If you are walking away from the Democrats, you must eliminate the preconceptions you have of conservatives, and you have to work to disprove the stereotypes they have of you. Even when that has been accomplished, there will be teasing and what people call "ball busting."

Here's something that happened with me and a fellow militiaman named Pete at a training event a few years ago. We were up very late one evening, and as we were walking back to our tents, we decided to wake everybody up.

Pete (yelling): "Oh no, Mike is going to rape me in the ass!"
Me (also yelling): "Don't worry Peetie, I'll be gentle this time!"

This was not harassment. There was no animosity nor malicious intent on either side. It was just (rough) banter, and that comes with the First Amendment. Freedom of speech is not for the thin-skinned or spineless. You have to be willing and able to give back just as hard as you get, for in that way mutual respect is earned and maintained.

What lies beneath this gruffness is a strong moral compass, and the intelligence to realize that bad outcomes are the consequence of bad ideals. No single party has a monopoly on these qualities, but the conservatives have adopted the principles that the Democrats have rejected. If you value those ideals, follow them to where they lead, and do not be afraid to become a modern conservative in the process.

Monday, October 8, 2018

Why I'm a Racist

Racism is a form of determinism: it is the theory that the content of an individual's mind is innate and determined (somehow) by their genetic heritage. An individual's virtues or vices are not determined by his choices, according to this theory, but rather by the collective "blood" of his ancestors.

The central problem of racism is that it short-circuits our ability to make accurate judgements about a person. Euclid, the ancient Greek mathematician, reportedly told his student Ptolemy I, who later became one of the successors of Alexander the Great, that "there is no royal road to knowledge." This is what racism is: a royal road to knowledge of an individual's character, without any cognitive effort beyond noticing that individual's skin tone.

So, why am I a racist?

Easy: the standard of what constitutes racism has changed.

It used to be that lynching was considered a racist act. Here's a partial list of what constitutes modern racism:

Notice the commonality: all of these examples constitute a replacement of objective standards by some ill-defined subjective criteria with the stated goal of "increasing diversity." Racism is thus "eliminated" by eliminating rigor and high expectations, and hoping that the outcome is somehow "fair." Everybody gets a participation trophy when equality of outcome replaces equality of opportunity.

One consequence of this redefinition of racism is that it mocks and cheapens the achievements of those who fought against actual racism. It equates microaggressions with lynchings, thus elevating the banal to the level of evil.

A second consequence is that it lowers the standards of doing good. It allows people to fool themselves into believing that they are achieving something important when they obstruct traffic or kneel at a football game. Anybody can be Sojourner Truth or MLK without leaving the comfort of their keyboard - all they have to do is play the victim and be offended. What such people do not understand is that achievement is only possible through rigorous standards; remove those standards, and significant accomplishments will not arise. Sending men to the moon required exacting standards of physics and mathematics; protesting the Apollo 11 launch only required four mules and two wagons.

Third, this redefinition of racism allows anti-white prejudice to be acceptable and to go unchallenged. White guilt is "earned" for having and demanding high expectations, and there is no way of atoning for this "sin", since ignoring race is itself racist, as is noticing race.

The ultimate problem of redefining racism in this manner is that it significantly reduces the quality of life for everybody, not just whites, all while misplacing the responsibility on the wrong party. For example, when a person receives substandard care from a graduate of a medical school boasting affirmative action as an admittance criteria, who will get the blame: the student who took advantage of this lowered acceptance criteria, or the administrator who decided that admission by reason of diversity was a good idea?

Those who promulgate this redefinition of racism thus offer us the following choice: be called a racist, or abandon strict standards of excellence. Rational people must not allow themselves to be skewered on the horns of this false dichotomy - rational people want both rigorous standards as well as the right to make objective judgements. But if wanting to retain math, logic, and the other beneficiaries of exacting standards makes me racist, then I'm a racist. I'm going to own the "fact" that I'm a racist. Just don't expect me to go to a Klan rally.

Tuesday, July 10, 2018

A Little Context

Senator Joe Biden (yea, that Joe Biden) was chair of the Senate Judiciary Committee during the confirmation hearings for both Robert Bork and Clarence Thomas.

Prior to his nomination, Bork was best known for his role in the "Saturday Night Massacre": Nixon ordered AG Richardson to fire special prosecutor Archibald Cox who was investigating Watergate. Richardson refused and resigned immediately. Nixon next ordered the deputy AG to fire Cox, and HE refused and resigned immediately. Nixon, working down the chain, then ordered the #3 man at the DOJ to fire Cox, and Cox was indeed terminated. All this happened in one Saturday evening.

The #3 man was Bork.

The Democrats were already preparing to oppose any Reagan SCOTUS nominee. Forty-five minutes after Bork's nomination, Ted Kennedy condemned Bork on national TV:

"Robert Bork's America is a land in which women would be forced into back-alley abortions, blacks would sit at segregated lunch counters, rogue police could break down citizens' doors in midnight raids, and schoolchildren could not be taught about evolution, writers and artists could be censored at the whim of the Government, and the doors of the Federal courts would be shut on the fingers of millions of citizens."
Histrionics at that level were very uncommon at the time; today it is TV as usual. Further, a report was prepared for Biden (called the "Biden Report") which was used to fan the histrionics. Today, such a report is called "opposition research."

During the confirmation hearing, Bork's video rental history was leaked to reporters — he didn't rent porn, but he did not rewind before returning. There is some irony in this leak, since Bork didn't have a stellar record regarding privacy protections. Legislation protecting video rental records was later passed as a result.

Most of the furor during the confirmation hearing was generated by women's rights groups and pro-choice groups, fanned by Kennedy's speech. And there was that Biden Report.

Bork's confirmation hearing is the first modern example of the confirmation process being driven not by careful deliberation but by public campaigns and character assassinations. This new process was described with a new verb: "borking". That verb was later replaced by "swiftboating".

The Senate voted against Bork's confirmation. Afterwards, Bork said that the Biden Report "so thoroughly misrepresented a plain record that it easily qualifies as world class in the category of scurrility." About Ted Kennedy's speech excoriating him, Bork said that "there was not a line in that speech that was accurate." A reporter later said that while that may be true, Kennedy's speech "worked".

The SCOTUS vacancy would instead be filled by Anthony Kennedy.

The level of partisan vitriol at Bork's confirmation was high, but the confirmation hearing for Clarence Thomas would turn that level up to 11. In fact, the opposition to Bork's confirmation was the Democrats' training for the circus that would be Thomas' confirmation.

Racism was on display throughout Clarence Thomas' confirmation hearing.

The Dems brought out someone named Anita Hill to level sexual harassment claims against him. They played minority groups (blacks vs women) against each other. They also asserted that Thomas rented porn videos and watched them in his chambers. Joe Biden claimed Thomas talked about Long Dong Silver with Hill. Rightfully outraged, Thomas made it clear that Biden's innuendos were playing off the stereotypes that black men are sex-crazed and hung:

"This is not an opportunity to talk about difficult matters privately or in a closed environment. This is a circus. It's a national disgrace. And from my standpoint, as a black American, it is a high-tech lynching for uppity blacks who in any way deign to think for themselves, to do for themselves, to have different ideas, and it is a message that unless you kowtow to an old order, this is what will happen to you. You will be lynched, destroyed, caricatured by a committee of the U.S. Senate rather than hung from a tree."

Afterwards, one reporter said: "I don't care if Clarence Thomas had an inflatable doll on his sofa and a framed autograph from Long Dong Silver on the wall. Just because a man has an immature interest in dirty stuff doesn't mean he harassed anyone."

Thomas didn't win the confirmation so much as he survived the confirmation process.

The Democrats used the same playbook on Bork as on Thomas: treat innuendo as fact; pretend to be shocked, shocked!, at the supposed outrages against decency; stipulate that Western Civilization would fall; and if all that fails, find someone willing to accuse the candidate of sexual harassment — and that accuser will disappear and soon be forgotten afterwards. The Democrats did that to Roy Moore. They are doing it with the #MeToo movement. They're trying to do it against a former OSU wrestling coach. They are doing it with President Trump. And they will do it on Brett Kavanaugh, Trump's new SCOTUS nominee.

The difference is that four years passed between Bork's and Thomas' confirmation hearings. Now, this level of manufactured outrage is a daily occurrence. Eventually people will figure out that the sky is indeed not falling.

Friday, January 5, 2018

Quotes for 2017

"In 2017, Trump is a major dating dealbreaker. Golden showers are not."
- Dating in the 21st Century

"Many people will find that their experiences with this technology become integral to their sexual identity and some will prefer them to direct sexual interactions with humans... There is no question that sexbots are coming. People will form an intense connection with their robot companions."
- Dr. Neil McArthur, an associate professor of philosophy at the University of Manitoba, on the rise of the "digisexuals"

"Of course, these dolls have their limitations – their bodies can’t move independently and they’re cold – but the team behind them, US manufacturer Sinthetics, is currently experimenting with putting heat in the penis to make it feel more real."
- The Sun, on how to keep digisexuals happy.


From an essay by King George III analyzing the American Revolution and its impact on the Empire:

"America is lost! Must we fall beneath the blow? Or have we resources that may repair the mischiefs?"
After this "Basket of Mischiefs" moment, he goes on to describe the colonies as nothing but economic emigres willing to help fill British coffers:
"A people spread over an immense tract of fertile land, industrious because free, and rich because industrious, presently became a market for the Manufacturers and Commerce of the Mother Country."
Yup.


"I feel like the idea of being trans-black would be much more accurate than ‘I’m white.’ Because you know, I’m not white."
- Rachel Dolezal is ashamed she's white. I'm ashamed she's white, too.


"Covfefe"
- New word of the year from Trump!

"I heard poorly rated @Morning_Joe speaks badly of me (don't watch anymore). Then how come low I.Q. Crazy Mika, along with Psycho Joe, came to Mar-a-Lago 3 nights in a row around New Year's Eve, and insisted on joining me. She was bleeding badly from a face-lift. I said no!"
- Another tweet from Trump


"Please know what your nugget of love is doing after school."
- Police Chief Thomas Nestel's advice to the parents of participants in a flash mob. Nugget of love, the new euphemism for street thug.

How to lure young kids, when candy isn't working:
"At the time of his arrest, police say Maruna was carrying an iPhone, a MAC book, three zip drives, a bottle of Astroglide lubrication, Vaseline lotion, two bottles of Sprite, and chicken Alfredo in a Tupperware container."

"When you go to work each day, you shouldn't have to worry that a pack of rabid animals will suddenly show up at your home and openly threaten your family"
- Philadelphia FOP President John McNesby about the BLM


Where Cate Blanchett keeps her moral compass:

“It’s in my vagina”


"“Why do I feel so much like Sigourney Weaver?” Reports that he then told the crowd to “bow down before your new king and master, Metal Jeff” are unsubstantiated."
- Jeff Bezos piloting a giant robot. I say we take off and nuke Bezos from orbit. It's the only way to be sure.


"As with most things, millennials are largely to blame."
- Why there are now these people called 'kidults'


How Texans fight AntiFa:

"Last night we did our part. We stood up to them. We showed them that we were not going to allow them to continue ruining our society. And yes, I got to punch one, which was really, really nice. But we also hoped to help them see the error of their ways. We even helped the fatties kick off a diet, by eating all their pizza."


Choice quotes from "The Conceptual Penis as a Social Construct" - a BS paper accepted and published by a peer-reviewed academic journal:

"There are, however, many examples of persons with penises who will not reproduce, including those who have sustained injury, are unable to coerce a mate..."
and
"[Manspreading], seen from the perspective of the (conceptual) penis as a (performative) social construct, is clearly a dominating occupation of physical space, akin to raping the empty space around him..."


"Who will rid me of this troublesome priest?"
- James "Hyperbole" Comey


"When a charismatic former alcoholic named Shaft has his life changed by Burning Man, he realises that he actually identifies as a unicorn. No longer able to face the monotony of work and life in the real world, he decides to form a polyamorous and hedonistic movement with other like-minded unicorns."
- What happens when a snowflake goes to Burning Man. Then things go down hill.


“To go from picking cotton balls to picking footballs and basketballs without freedom is not very much progress.”
- Jesse Jackson about poor, oppressed athletes


The magical powers of gays:

"Being no strangers to intense raver and party scenes, most gays have great mastery of chemistry and mixing drinks and candies so that the taste of an underlying drug is concealed.

"These skills are routinely employed on Halloween to make lurid concoctions that will leave 1 out of 5 men waking up groggy and without memories — and sometimes without their costumes — the Sunday after Halloween."


Shelly, an interactive AI horror writer from MIT

"She was right about the light. It had a interesting smell... she was literally floating around it. I couldn't figure out if the smoke was dancing or not. In fact, I even smelt like the stillness of a grotesque distance. Fear, pure evil."
She writes like a cross between "Electric Kool-Aid Acid Test" and Anne Rice. Chances of passing the Turing Test? 0%


Kevin Spacey, apologizing trying to shift blame for allegedly making sexual advances to a 14 year old boy, thirty-one years ago:

"As those closest to me know, in my life I have had relationships with both men and women. I have loved and had romantic encounters with men throughout my life, and I choose to live as a gay man."

Zackery Quinto's response:
"It is deeply sad and troubling that this is how Kevin Spacey has chosen to come out. Not by standing up as a point of pride — in the light of all his many awards and accomplishments — thus inspiring tens of thousands of struggling LGBTQ kids around the world. But as a calculated manipulation to deflect attention from the very serious accusation that he attempted to molest one."

Milo Yiannopoulos's response:
"I’m gay. I have been very drunk. It never made me want to touch kids. Fuck off, Kevin Spacey."
Milo goes further:
"This is why identity politics is so poisonous: it seeks to establish separate rules for separate groups based on perceived, or more often simply imaginary, victimhood. Gay people should be held to the same standards as everyone else."


"[Giordano] concludes by expressing hope that people will soon come to “embrace an irreverent disdain for traditional science and instead practice feminist science,” adding that this is time for a “much needed anti-science, antiracist, feminist approach to knowledge production.”"
- Sara Giordano, a professor at UC-Davis.


"In a statement posted to Twitter Tuesday night, Grassley called on “whoever in DOJ is capable” of appointing a special counsel to do so, noting that "‘whoever’ means if [you] aren’t recused.”"
- Chuck Grassley on the quality of Uranium One investigations.


Don't do this, M'Kay?

"Officials in Madagascar have warned residents not to exhume bodies of dead loved ones and dance with them because the bizarre ritual can cause outbreaks of plague. The tradition called Famadihana practised by the Malagasy people involves digging up dead relatives, wrapping them in fresh cloth and dancing with them before putting them back underground. But it has caused concern among health officials at a time when Madagascar is enduring its most lethal outbreak of the plague in years."


"You don't justify the outcome, you reason to the outcome... We always talk about 'E Pluribus Unum,' what's our 'Unum' now?"
- Clarence Thomas


"Allahu Akbar is sometimes said under the most beautiful of circumstances"
- Jake Tapper


Proof of global warming: the snowflakes are melting. Example from Ashley Nicole Black:

"I looked at myself—I'm going to cry even saying this right now—I looked at myself in the mirror, and in that moment, I looked like my grandmother. The first thought I had was that I was glad that she wasn't alive to see that. Then I felt so guilty because of course nothing would ever make me glad my grandmother is not alive. I love her so much, and I wish she was here. But she died when Obama was president, with that hope that the world had moved forward, and black people had moved forward. And she didn't see the huge backlash that came after. In that moment, I was very grateful, and then guilty, and then I went to bed."


"Why would Kim Jong-un insult me by calling me "old," when I would NEVER call him "short and fat?" Oh well, I try so hard to be his friend - and maybe someday that will happen!"
- The Shitposter and Chief


"I’d call their strain “hipster racism”, which typically uses sarcasm as a cover, and in the end, it looks a lot like gaslighting– “It’s just a joke. Why are you overreacting?” is a common response to a lot of these statements... One has to wonder just how many times Dunham has to prove herself a monster before the Beautiful People shun this villain."
- Zinzi Clemmons on Lena Dunham


"We were friends. We continued to be friendly right up until her lawyer called."
- Garrison Keillor, on a person accusing him of sexual harassment


John Kelly on being the parent of a fallen patriot:

"He was doing exactly what he wanted to do when he was killed. He knew what he was getting into by joining that 1%. He knew what the possibilities were because we were at war. And when he died he was surrounded by the best men on this earth, his friends....

"I guess, over time, I had convinced myself that I could imagine what it would be like to lose a son or daughter. You try to imagine it so that you can write the right kind of letters or form the right words to try to comfort. But you can't even come close. It is unimaginable."


"Nothing. I keep other people awake at night"
- James Mattis, when asked what keeps him awake at night.


Sarah Huckabee Sanders lays it down:

"It’s not coldhearted for the President to uphold the law. We are a nation of law and order, and the day that we start to ignore the fact that we are that, then we throw away everything that gives these people a reason to want to come to our country. If we stop becoming the country that we were envisioned to be, then we throw away what makes us special, which makes America unique. This President’s not willing to do that. The previous administration was, this one isn’t."


Have we reached peak SJW? Nope...

"It was everything good about humanity. But when witnessing the act and the fawning over the bunny rescue, I can’t help juxtaposing the feelings expressed about this bunny with the feelings generally expressed when black people are in grave danger."


Birthday cake for Coldilocks, the oldest captive polar bear in the US:

"Coldilocks was treated to a frozen confection made of peanut butter, fish, carrots, raisin and bear chow. Not exactly an ice cream cake, but she seemed to enjoy it."


"Naked under a robe"
- Somebody who accused Trump of inappropriate behavior. Everybody knows Trump has x-ray vision, right?


"704 pounds of free Dunkin’ Donuts coffee."
- The going price for a Massachusetts state senator.


"Trump made me order the meatloaf"
- Chris Christie's newest excuse for going off diet!

"Donald Trump is making me gain weight. I start the day with liquids, but after the morning news, I eat pancakes smothered in maple syrup!"
- Barbra Streisand, joining Chris Christie.