Friday, January 9, 2015

Je Suis Charlie

Remember: cartoons don't kill people, Muslims offended by cartoons kill people.

Hear about the time Mohammed's wife called him a pedophile?
Mohammed responded "Pedophile is a pretty big word for a 9 year old!"

I phoned the Islamic Samaritans today. When I said I was feeling suicidal they got all excited and asked if I knew how to fly a plane.

We shouldn't assume that Islamic terrorists are somehow representative of all Muslims, because they aren't. Most Muslims are too busy running pedophile gangs to even contemplate terrorism.

Q. What is the difference between the Prophet Muhammad and Michael Jackson? 
A. One is a pedophile child rapist and the other recorded eight platinum albums.

Q: What do you call a drunken Muslim? 
A: Mohammered.

Q: What's the difference between a Muslim and a vampire? 
A: At some point the vampire will stop being bloodthirsty. 

Q. Why don’t Muslims eat pork? 
A. The Koran forbids cannibalism.

Q: Why did Mohammed make homosexuality a sin in the Koran?
A: Because his boyfriend thought that would make it hotter.

Translation: "The Koran is shit - it doesn't stop bullets!"

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