On way to D.C., Matt is riding shotgun and Jim is sitting in the back seat...
Me: "You guys need to make a pit stop?"
Jim: "I'll just go back here. The floor mats are already wet from when you washed them"
Me: "No! I'm not Donald Trump and you're not a Russian prostitute!"
At 3 AM...
Me: "You can't make America great again by waking up at 9 AM"
Matt and Jim: "Grrrr"
At 5:30 AM...
In the line for people without tickets. We're rabble deplorables! Large number of young people waiting in line, some sitting on the asphalt playing cards, sort of like they're at the Apple Store waiting for a new iPhone.
Security is much tighter than at Obama's inauguration, 10 busses carrying guys in uniforms just drove past. Ten buses of whoop ass in da house!!
Matt was looking at tops of buildings...
Me: "Are you looking for sharpshooters?"
I knew he wasn't into architecture.
We make it through security and what should we discover but Fred Phelps' group with their 'God H8S Fags" signs - and stepping on US flags! Matt flips them off, cop gets between them.
Find out that we went in through the wrong entrance, the one for the parade route. We need to be in front of the Capitol Building.
For whatever reason that required going through another line and another security check.
We see the sharpshooters Matt was looking for…
Photographers, and people looking at their photos!
Playing lots of Elton John. Soundtrack will get boring by the time events start, but there is other entertainment...
"This will be the BEST inauguration EVER! It will be YUGE!" Trump supporter making fun of The Orange One, less than two hours before the Trumpening!
Deplorables! Deplorables all over the place!
It started sprinkling, but it is much warmer than in 2009 and 2013.
Local reporters were there, along with their pet coiffures.
This fellow came from Canada just to see the inauguration.
Not so adorable deplorables…
OK, back to the adorable ones…
Oh look, there's four anti-Trump protesters. Awww! Cute!
This was the largest group of protesters inside the secured area, besides the Phelps Ministries people. There were several others, not part of a group, walking around with their pink hats.
Some of the people around the protesters starting jeering: "Clever! Go back to Univision". No jostling, just First Amendment.
Now the protesters moved next to me. Shit, that's where the snipers will shoot! SHIT!!
Just before the John Roberts administered the oath to Trump, one of the protesters had a meltdown; it's called desperation. He needed a timeout. Wish I got a photo of it, it was epic!
Too bad if anything...
...happened to it.
More whoop ass…
Events are about to start!
At this point I ran out of battery power! Frowny face!
Bill and Hil-Dog comes out. Crowd chants "Lock her up! Lock her up!" What's she wearing? Oh, that old blue thing.
Golf claps for Michelle. GWU student says "she's a guy you know".
Michelle's eyebrows, stenciled on, as if in a permanent scowl? The horror. The horror.
And... orange is the new black!
The highlight of the whole event was Trump's inaugural address, lots of cheering at the key points. When Trump said:
"When you open your heart to patriotism, there is no room for prejudice."
there was a stunned silence, a waiting, a great inhale, and then a loud eruption from the crowd.
The motivation behind the #NeverTrump Republicans is the feeling that President Trump will kill the graft from which they profited for so long. For others, those who share his convictions but think he doesn't carry them far enough, there was a suspicion that Trump was too good to be true. That one line killed many such people's doubt.
The Marine 1 helicopter flew overhead, we believe it is carrying the Obama family.
Trump supporters are thinking that Obama has been vanquished. "Take your golf clubs and your prayer rug, and don't let the door hit you in the ass on the way out!"
Obama supporters think they're watching Obama's deification, his ascent into heaven. Obama wishes mountains be leveled because he envies their height. He decreed that the sun be eclipsed because it rivaled his own brilliance. His White House staff will be entombed with him.
After Trump's acceptance speech but before the benedictions...
GWU Student #1: "What do we do now?"
Student #2: "Let's get drunk!"
Students #3, 4, 5: "YEA!"
In one of the TSA lines, as we were leaving, two kids in front of me found a little box. They opened it and found glass vials filled with yellowish liquid. Box said "stink bombs". Some asshat threatened to do that to the ball for gay Trump supporters.
We get back on the road, turn on the radio, and hear a reporter stating that the inauguration took place in a “downpour”.
Back to the "real" world of fake news.